Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation: How to Understand What Actually Motivates You

Have you ever REALLY wanted to reach a goal, but somehow still ended up quitting?

Like…you wanted to exercise consistently. Or write the book. Or make more friends. Or start that project you’ve been thinking about for months?

And maybe you felt incredibly motivated in the beginning. But then… you stopped.

Before you immediately tell yourself that you lack discipline, willpower, or consistency, there is another question worth asking: What is actually motivating you?

Understanding the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation can give you a completely different perspective on why you pursue—or abandon—certain goals.

And here’s something I really want you to know: One type of motivation isn’t automatically better than the other. Both can be useful. Both can help you move toward your goals. And sometimes, the type of motivation you start with isn’t the type of motivation that ultimately keeps you going.

The more you understand what motivates you, the more you can learn to work with yourself instead of constantly working against yourself.

What Is Intrinsic Motivation?

Intrinsic motivation is when you are motivated by the activity itself. You do something because you genuinely enjoy it, find it interesting, find it meaningful, or like the way it makes you feel. The process itself provides some of the reward.

For example, imagine someone who loves painting. They aren’t painting because they want to win an award. They aren’t trying to sell their work. They aren’t doing it because someone told them they should. They simply love creating. They enjoy choosing colors, experimenting, getting lost in the process, and seeing an idea become something tangible. That’s intrinsic motivation.

Other examples might include:

• Reading because you genuinely love learning
• Running because you enjoy how it makes you feel
• Journaling because you find reflection rewarding
• Playing an instrument because you love making music
• Hiking because you genuinely enjoy being outdoors
• Cooking because you find the creative process satisfying

With intrinsic motivation, the experience itself can be enough to make you want to continue.

What Is Extrinsic Motivation?

Extrinsic motivation comes from something outside of the activity itself. You’re motivated by an outcome, reward, recognition, achievement, consequence, or some other external reason.

(This doesn’t necessarily mean you dislike the activity. It simply means that the activity isn’t the primary source of your motivation.)

For example, imagine someone who wants to run a 5K. They don’t particularly enjoy running yet. Running feels uncomfortable. It’s challenging. They would honestly rather be doing something else. But they really want to cross that finish line. Maybe they want the medal. Or to complete their first race. Or maybe they want to prove to themselves that they can do something difficult. The external goal gives them a reason to keep training. That’s extrinsic motivation.

Other examples might include:

• Studying because you want a good grade
• Working toward a promotion because you want increased income or recognition
• Exercising because you want to improve your health
• Completing a project because you want to meet a deadline
• Entering a competition because you want to win
• Saving money because you want to afford something important to you

And here’s where things get interesting…

Why Does Extrinsic Motivation Get Such a Bad Reputation?

Some people hear “extrinsic motivation” and immediately assume it is somehow less meaningful.

They think: “I shouldn’t do this just because I want the reward.” Or “I should actually enjoy the process.” Or “If I’m only doing this for recognition, that doesn’t actually count.”

But why? Wanting a reward doesn’t automatically make your motivation shallow or wrong!

If you want to run a race because you want the medal, you want the medal.

If you want a promotion because you want the recognition and financial benefits, it just means those things matter to you.

If you want to finish writing your book because you want to hold the finished book in your hands, that’s a legitimate reason to keep writing.

Your motivation doesn’t have to look a certain way to be valid. Intrinsic motivation is not morally superior to extrinsic motivation. Both can give you information about what matters to you. And sometimes, extrinsic motivation is exactly what gets you started!

What If You Don’t Enjoy the Process Yet?

This is especially important when it comes to developing new habits.

Let’s go back to our 5K runner:

Imagine someone really wants to run a 5K, but they don’t enjoy running. They start training but quickly become frustrated because they believe they should be learning to love running. So instead of using the motivation they actually have, they try to manufacture a different kind of motivation.

They tell themselves: “I need to enjoy this.” Or “I should want to run because running itself is rewarding.” Or “Maybe I’ll keep going once I learn to love it.”

But what if they don’t? What if what genuinely motivates them right now is the medal waiting at the finish line?

What if they simply sign up for the race, put the race date on their calendar, and let that goal motivate them to train? They don’t have to pretend to love running! They can use the motivation they actually have.

And…that’s precisely when something interesting might happen. They train. They become stronger. They start noticing how much better they feel. They experience the excitement of running with other people. Race day arrives. They have fun. They cross the finish line. They get their medal. And suddenly they think: “Wait… I actually enjoyed that.

The extrinsic motivation got them there. And through the experience, maybe the intrinsic gets developed. 

That’s why understanding and working with your motivation can be so powerful.

Motivation Can Change

One of the biggest takeaways I want you to have is that you don’t have to permanently identify as an “intrinsically motivated person” or an “extrinsically motivated person.”

Your motivation can change depending on the goal, the season of your life, and even the specific stage of a goal you’re in.

You might begin something because of an external reward and eventually fall in love with the process.

Or you might genuinely love something but temporarily lose your intrinsic motivation. When that happens, an external goal might give you the extra push you need.

For example, let’s go back to the person who loved painting. They do it out of joy, but lately, they’ve stopped picking up their paintbrush. They still love painting, but their motivation has dipped.

Instead of assuming something is wrong with themselves, they ask: “Is there anything else that would motivate me right now?”

Maybe they decide to enter their first art competition. Suddenly, there’s a deadline. They have something to work toward. They have a reason to finish a piece. And now, they’ve added an extrinsic motivator to something they already intrinsically enjoy.

As you can see from both examples  it’s clear that neither motivation cancels out the other or is less or more meaningful.

How Self-Awareness Can Help You Reach Your Goals

This is where I think the real value of understanding intrinsic and extrinsic motivation comes in: self-awareness.

When you’re struggling with a goal, instead of immediately asking “What’s wrong with me?” Try asking “What would actually motivate me?”

Maybe you love the process. Great. Lean into that. Maybe you don’t love the process, but you deeply care about the outcome. That’s useful information too. Maybe you care about both. Even better—you can intentionally use both.

For example, imagine you want to build a stronger social life. You might not particularly enjoy walking into a room full of strangers and making small talk. But you genuinely want deeper friendships. Instead of telling yourself, “I should enjoy meeting new people,” you can acknowledge: “I don’t love this part yet, but I really value what it can lead to.” That awareness can help you tolerate the uncomfortable part long enough to get to the meaningful part.

The same principle can apply to exercise, career goals, creative projects, relationships, personal growth, and everyday habits.

How to Use Your Motivation to Your Advantage

The next time you’re struggling to follow through on something, try these questions:

1. Do I actually enjoy this?

If the answer is yes, you may have a strong source of intrinsic motivation. Think about what you enjoy about the experience and reconnect with it.

2. Do I want the outcome?

If the answer is yes, don’t dismiss that. Ask yourself what outcome matters enough to keep you moving.

Maybe it’s a race medal. A finished book. A promotion. A stronger body. More financial freedom. Deeper relationships. Let that matter!

3. Could I create an external motivator?

If you’re struggling to get started, consider creating a goal, deadline, accountability system, event, milestone, or meaningful reward.

The point isn’t to bribe yourself into doing everything. It’s to give yourself something that genuinely helps you take action.

4. Could intrinsic motivation develop over time?

Don’t assume that because you don’t love something today, you’ll never love it. Sometimes enjoyment comes after competence. You try something repeatedly, get better at it, experience its benefits, and eventually the activity itself becomes rewarding.

What Do I Do Now?

Get started! Go through your goals and discuss with yourself your motivations for each one.

If you get stuck, need help, or want to work 1:1 with a coach, I am always here. You’ve got this—I believe in you!

With love and pumping blood,

The Heartbeat